Well, dear ones. Although my posting frequency has taken a serious dive of late, let it never be said that I don’t keep you all in my heart and on my mind. I’ve been thinking of everyone a lot lately, especially No Swimmers, who is living through a complete fucking nightmare right now. If you’ve not been over to give her some love, please do so. I don’t spend a lot of time wondering why the universe is so unfair, but her news has kept me pondering that question for a while now, and it seems to be coming up again and again for me these days, thinking about what we all have to go through, and how little understanding we seem to get from the outside world. PJ’s article for the New York Times totally rocked my world, but reading the comments just infuriated me, so I’m not linking to them. Suffice it to say that people are even more idiotic than I thought. And of course, they are better and more sympathetic than I thought ,too, but I’m a bit “glass-half-empty” these days.
When I’m not just moping around, thinking of you all, I’m bringing you into my dancing. I started dancing flamenco in January, and one of the hardest things is learning to loosen up and bring some real energy into it. It’s so intellectually challenging to try to understand the rhythm and the music and then get the feet and hands and arms all moving at the same time, so I get uptight and stiff. And if there is anything flamenco is not, it’s uptight and stiff. What made me fall in love with it is the defiance, the pride, the toughness - things that don’t come that easily to the perfectionistic, worrying self that I am a good part of the time. So to get in touch with that strength, I bring you all up in my mind. And instantly, almost magically, my shoulders are further back, my arms are reaching higher, and my feet are pounding the living shit out of the floor. Let me tell you, it feels good. It feels like a prayer that can be heard by G*d and the whole universe. It feels like I’m doing something, something meaningful. It feels like I’m changing this whole miserably unfair world, starting from my bones and working my way outwards.
So thanks, friends. For making me a better person as well as a better dancer.
I have other news, but I will post that separately when I get home from work tonight. It’s moderately good news and involves me getting my own sharps container. I don’t know why, but I really like those things.
