Just stumbled across this today – it’s an interesting take on the isolation that comes when people don’t know what to say and therefore say the wrong thing. The author is talking about her experience of breast cancer, but it really resonated with me and my experience of infertility.
Our darling Mel from Stirrup Queens is a finalist for the Weblog Awards under best medical/health blog. Voting goes from now until the 13th (next Tuesday) and you can vote daily by clicking here and then clicking on Stirrup Queens. Please go everyday until voting ends and let the world know how much we love Mel and her amazing powers of genius, compassion, and insight.
I’m down slightly off my high of earlier this week, but still feeling pretty good. I have been walking to and from work everyday despite it being tit-numbingly cold here for the past month, plus occasional dog walks, plus flamenco started up again last night, plus I start a new yoga class tonight. So I’m getting lots of exercise and have done fairly well with eating better. I’m trying to be good but not perfect, which is actually harder for me than being perfect, cause I tend to lose control once I have a small amount of something I’m not supposed to have, but I’m happier, it’s easier and in the long term much more sustainable if I can just learn to have a spoonful of sour cream in my borscht and not use that as an excuse to eat a whole bag of Doritos and a brick of cheese. We shall see.
My work is absurdly slow right now – if I wasn’t on a one-year contract, I’d probably get laid off. It doesn’t bode overly well for becoming permanent at the end of the contract, but this work is very seasonal and so far I’m being told to be cautiously optimistic. Fine by me – I’m not in love with this job, but the benefits are amazing and it’s very manageable in terms of work-life balance, and I could actually see myself returning to work with a small child and being able to hack it. Ultimately, I’d like to stay home, but if I go back to work after the first one and get pregnant fairly soon thereafter, I’ll be able to get a second year of maternity leave and then quit after that. Not to get too entitled, but we all support the system and it would be great to be able to take advantage of it when it’s my turn. Assuming my turn will indeed come.
The upside of the slow work is that I’m blogging more and answering comments and emails. So you can expect to see more of me around these parts for the next while. And stay tuned for an exciting event – my 100th post is coming up soon, and I’ll be throwing myself a bit of a party.
Bring on the cheese bricks!
I’m sorry things are slow, but that means we get to enjoy more of your thoughts. Which is a good thing. Hours are being cut at my husband’s work, too. Fortunately, all my jobs (yes, I have several) are fairly recession proof. They just don’t make much.
I wish it was socially acceptable to say, “I don’t know what say.” And then give some universal gesture that means, “but I’m with you.”
Hey, that is a lot of exercise! I am sure it feels great though to be in your body like that! Sorry about work being slow, but I am glad to get a chance to hear more from you!
I am really similar on the dietary stuff. I do better if I forbid myself to touch any of “it” (at one point this included dairy, caffeine, soy, gluten, and sugar – now mostly just gluten, which I am religious about) than if I try to just be “good” – once I allowed myself sugar again (a few months ago) I kind of went crazy with it. I am still struggling not to overload with the sugar daily. Moderation is tough.
Hi Anna, I saw that article in the Globe & had the same reaction. Thanks for posting the link! & I’m looking forward to the party! ; )
interesting article about the stupid things people say. another taboo subject.
sounds like you’ve got some good exercise going on there. I know what you mean about those food issues. when I have a little sugar or dairy, I just want MORE.
I really admire you for trying to do a “little bit” of things – I find that so tough. (Hence the remaining half of a bag of animal crackers I had for breakfast this morning that I just. could. not. stop. eating) And good benefits are worth a lot!
Looking forward to the party!
Hodgepodge, indeed!
The article rang true in so many ways- how people just don’t know how to appropriately deal with personal and somewhat tragic information. It definitely connects to me in many ways. How do I explain to acquaintances that babies may not ever be in the cards for me, so PLEASE quit asking me when we want to start a family? And after I do, how do I explain that adoption is JUST as expensive as IVF, if not more, even international adoption, and NO, I don’t think I should just take one of the thousands of older but still adoptable kids out there- YES, I’m selfish, YES, there are plenty of ways to become a parent, but NO. None of it is any of your business!@!
Sigh.
And YAY for exercise. It really is amazing how much better the world looks when you’ve come off a truly kick ass workout. I couldn’t stop smiling while I was running on Wednesday, because it was like coming home again (well, I mean, I LITERALLY came home the night before, but nonetheless…). It just felt so amazing and right.
I’m sorry things are slow for you at work, but I am hoping that you will be able to continue to do what you like in an environment that nourishes you. Work-life balance is SO important. Mental health is tantamount. And because I know intimately how important that kind of thing is, I hope that you will be able to eventually become a permanent part of a place that would allow you to bring a child, or otherwise have a positive in-work experience.
And YAY for blogging more! I like that idea! And I will be looking forward to your 100th post party! Cool!
Slow work can be maddening — especially when you wouldn’t mind being somewhere else.
Thanks for sharing the article. It really shows the surreal response that humans have to subjects they fear or are ignorant about…somethings all the worst behavior and commentary comes as a result.
We’re doing something similar with our food – not being perfect but trying to clean up. During the week we’ve got a no booze rule, as well as rules on eating healthy low-calorie meals. On the weekend we’re allowed to indulge a little, not a ton, but a little. It gives us balance and allows some fun, cuz without those Doritos, life just wouldn’t be as good.