*This post contains filthy, filthy, angry language. If you are at work or would for any reason seek to shield yourself from what follows, best to skip the whole thing.
The title of this post contains my last words as I left the ultrasound tech still talking at me this morning. I had to go to a private radiology clinic cause my sonographer in my clinic is away for a few days. So she does the scan, then leaves me sitting in the darkened room with no tissues to wipe the lube from my freshly probed snatch, so I used the paper sheet on the bed. I hope she put her hand in it when she cleaned up.
She came back in, handed me a sheet with the measurements of my follicles and my lining on it, leaving me to decipher it myself in the murky light. I squint, read once, read twice, get confused. They’ve shrunk. My lining and my 16.2mm follicle on the left side seem to have decidedly shrunk. She’s just standing there, saying nothing, or fiddling with my befouled sheet. I ask the first question that pops into my head, “How much difference is there between different machines?”
“Oh, no, ” replies the cunt whore bitch fuckface buttstink slappy trollop. “It’s not the machines, if it were the machines it would be a millimeter at most.” And then, “They’re regressing.” She must have seen my face fall and my being deflate slightly at that, so she adds, “Unfortunately.”
She kept talking, but my self-preservation skills kicked in, and I picked up my stuff, and walked out. “Yeah, thanks.”
I’m trying to cheer myself up with what Manny tells me, which is that I don’t play by their rules, and rules are for fools, and I’m too cool for school. This did happen once before, and they grew again, and I had a 21×21 follicle that cycle. But is a little human kindness too much to ask?
I’ve just spoken to a wonderful person at my clinic, who was appropriately sympathetic and practical and kind. When I’ve calmed down a bit more, I will be phoning the private radiology lab to let them know that infertility is hard, and we need people to be gentle with us, and having “unfortunately” added as an afterthought just doesn’t cut it. And that maybe they should point this out to their crotch-sweat, ass-wipe, bum-zit, day-old-pantyliner, fart-cloud, fuckwit, dumb slut staff.
